fingerprints

as long as i can remember,
my hands have always been my biggest physical insecurity.
if it weren't for numerous comments about them from others, i may never have thought twice about them. but people are careless.

in junior high and high school, i rode the bus. i used to sit on my hands so no one could see them. in college, someone asked me in front of a large group if i could get surgery to fix them. to top it off, i work with teenagers...not the most tactful lot.

friends have tried to reverse the damage with attempted compliments that sink like stones. "maybe God made your hands like that because one day you'll have to save someone from a fire..." and "i like your hands...they make you look wise." gee thanks. problem solved?

i don't think about them quite as much anymore, but they're still definitely a source of insecurity.

apparently, i mentioned something about it in front of my boss a couple weeks back. the next time we sat down to talk, he brought it up and said he'd been thinking about it. he felt that God wanted him to tell me something. he said:

"tara, your hands are the hands of Jesus...
every time you use your hands to touch someone,
serve someone, or bless someone, you are being Jesus to them.
your hands are Jesus' hands. never feel ashamed of them."

i appreciated the thought...but moreso, i appreciated the verse it brought to mind about Jesus:

"There was nothing
beautiful or majestic about his appearance,
nothing to attract us to him.
He was despised and rejected—
a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief.
We turned our backs on him
and looked the other way.
He was despised, and we did not care."
- Isaiah 53:2-3 (NLT)

it was powerful for me to realize that Jesus, the One who impacted the world more than any other, who being in very nature God, was unattractive and looked over. He could easily have chosen to be beautiful and awe-inspiring in appearance, but He didn't...and His thumbprint on the world is unlike any other.

it means a lot to me to know that it doesn't matter what my thumb looks like, as long as its print is left behind. i would rather make an impact on this world for Jesus, than have all the adoration in the world.

this is how we should think. this is how we should consider appearance. this is where our focus should truly be. this should be where our confidence resides. in Him.

thank You for that.