sign of the times
the other night, i was driving home on the freeway and i saw something that triggered a memory and subsequent reflection on the evolution of my spirituality over the last 10 years or so.
i got serious about my relationship with Jesus at 15. i knew why i believed what i believed. i was sure of my faith. everything was black and white. i had the answers and i was ready and willing to provide them for anyone who in need.
after graduating high school, i purchased my very first car. a 1989 VW Jetta. yep, still have it! my best friend helped me celebrate by buying a license plate frame for me. it was one of those anti-evolution frames that said something to the effect of "fish don't walk and Jesus still lives." being that i was about to become a biology major, i didn't want my car vandalized due to said message, so i exchanged it for what i thought was an even better message.
"if you're living like there's no God,
you'd better be right!"
you'd better be right!"
yeah! that'll tell 'em! nothing more effective than a little judgment shoved up someone's nose.
i saw this same message on the back of someone's car on the freeway monday night. i said a quick prayer of thanksgiving to the Lord. "oh man, forgive me Jesus. thank You for showing me how wrong that attitude is and for getting that thing off my car!"
did i honestly think that misrepresenting God as a judgmental jerk looking to destroy people was going to bring anyone to Him? how did i ever think that anything other than LOVE would change hearts and draw people to Jesus? where did i learn that? church? probably. this is generally what Christianity in our country looks like...it's how people see us. how did this happen?? church? probably...but that's a whole 'nother topic. (see previous blog for the tip of the iceberg on 'tara's frustrations with church.') :)
in a way, i'm thankful i went through that period of ignorance. it's paved the way for my life's goal and desire to learn and share what it truly looks like to love Jesus and love others. my goal and hope is that no student i work with could have a relationship with me and walk away with the mindset i had at their age.
as messy as it is to love Jesus and love others the way He wants us to, i would take the gray over the black and white any day.
i saw this same message on the back of someone's car on the freeway monday night. i said a quick prayer of thanksgiving to the Lord. "oh man, forgive me Jesus. thank You for showing me how wrong that attitude is and for getting that thing off my car!"
did i honestly think that misrepresenting God as a judgmental jerk looking to destroy people was going to bring anyone to Him? how did i ever think that anything other than LOVE would change hearts and draw people to Jesus? where did i learn that? church? probably. this is generally what Christianity in our country looks like...it's how people see us. how did this happen?? church? probably...but that's a whole 'nother topic. (see previous blog for the tip of the iceberg on 'tara's frustrations with church.') :)
in a way, i'm thankful i went through that period of ignorance. it's paved the way for my life's goal and desire to learn and share what it truly looks like to love Jesus and love others. my goal and hope is that no student i work with could have a relationship with me and walk away with the mindset i had at their age.
as messy as it is to love Jesus and love others the way He wants us to, i would take the gray over the black and white any day.
posted by Tara Bussema @ 7:21 PM
5 comments:
If only the you from 10 years ago and the me from 10 years ago had met. They could have established a killer theocracy.
ha. i thought the very same thing. but i think you were quite a bit worse than i was. :)
Well, I may have gone to a "healing crusade" or two, but I never had any religious sayings on my car. Actually, now that I think about it, I have an electric guitar covered with stickers, including one that says, "Fear God," and the volume knob is where the "o" should be (I'm so creative). And my favorite sticker is on the back: God loves factory workers.
sorry...your theocracy (i accidentally typed theocrazy...ha!) beats it all hands down. i don't even care. end of story. :)
i like this. didn't know you had a blog. here's mine.
http://greyhavns.blogspot.com/
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